THE DECISION

I know that for many women, the decision to start a family is a scary one & much thought over; however, I've always known from an early age that I wanted to be a mummy and I always wanted to be a 'young mum'. To me this meant before I turned 30! (well that hasn't quite panned out- by the time I give birth I will be 30 years old + 1 month...damn!)

Now I know most people would say that in this day and age, that's a perfectly reasonable time to start a family and some might even say it's pretty young. In my close circle of friends, I only know two mums my age and many of my peers are of the view that we're too young. We should be busy enjoying our lives, travelling the world, drinking, partying & investing in our careers.

That latter point never really resonated with me.  I remember we once had to write an essay in school about our life ambitions. I also remember mulling over and over what to put down, as I didn't have any back then. I proceeded to write about my lack of ambition, I thought I might get in trouble for not following the brief but my English teacher seemed to like it as she gave me an "A". I took this as vindication of my 'lack of ambition' approach to life and I rolled with it.

Having thought about it in later life I realised the only thing I ever really wanted was to be a mum and have a family- that was my ambition (maybe once I'm there my outlook will change, I'll hate being a mum and want my freedom back! Who knows...)

So The Decision for me had already been made in my mind... all I needed to do was find The Guy, settle down, and persuade him that this was the right decision for him too...all before I turned the ripe old age of 29 years + 12 weeks!

So I did meet That Guy... and his name was Albert. But he wasn't an elderly gentleman with a greying beard as his name suggests. ..but a guy the same age as me with a full coloured beard who happened to be from Spain (Catalonia to be exact...where I'm told Albert is a very common name).

But the decision to start a family for a man is very different to that of a woman. I think it's because generally for men it's just not something they really think about until someone faces them with it & forces them to consider they could actually create a life and be a dad- but that would mean actually having to be a real grown up. For a guy there is no ticking fertility clock so they see no real reason to rush into parenthood... that's until they meet The Girl and she confronts him with it!

I think that's pretty much what happened in our case. We discussed it, he knew my views on starting a family and I think he thought "I want to have kids and a family one day" he just didn't quite realise "one day" would swing by so quickly. (Nor did I really!)

So we got married in May 2014, we discussed it & I stopped taking the contraceptive pill and by my calculations all things being good and both of us being healthy I should be pregnant in a few months (maybe 6 or so) probably be aiming to have a baby late 2015. Now the reasoning behind my calculations are:

1. Everyone always tells you how hard it is to get pregnant. (Some people try for years)

2. I didn't want us to actually "try" for a baby (by this I mean calculating your cycle and working out the optimum time to conceive) I didn't want the pressure!

3. I'd been on the pill or some form of contraceptive for over 10 years so I figured my body probably needs time to adjust.

So it turns out I was pregnant by June- just 1 month after coming off the pill- that taught me to believe everything they ever told us in sex education and conclude...

1. For some people it's actually very easy to get pregnant.

2. You don't need to be "trying" for a baby...you can get pregnant after just one time (even when standing up...not that that's how this baby was conceived- I just remember it being in the anonymous question box)

3. You can get pregnant as soon as you stop taking the pill you- are once again fertile- just like it says on the box!

So...here we are- decision made & conceived: baby now due in 12 weeks and 1 day. Let's hope it's a good one! Both decision and baby that is!